Life in Soul Society A Documentary
by absoluteotaku
Summary: ...aka Make Soul Society Awesome and Well-known and Attract Lots of Souls So We Don't Have To Keep Going Around Scaring Souls and Perform Soul Burial On Them Project. One shot


Hello everyone =D I'm still alive~ Don't forget about me yet! But wow... It's been a long time since I last posted =O School's been very, very busy lately... However, admist all this, I've finally come up with something that's kind of like a story!(?) Haha...

I haven't been writing much so I've turned a bit rusty. Please forgive me ^^" Also, please let me know if you've found any mistakes in this one shot.

Oh and reviews make me really, really happy ^^

Anyway, happy reading =3

* * *

_In a brightly lit room somewhere in Soul Society, a group of female Shinigamis gathered. The women were all members of the Shinigami Woman's Association._

_The room quietened down when Nanao clapped her hands. "For those of you who had just arrived, we will outline this project again." She flipped open a booklet on the table that read, 'Operation: Make Soul Society Awesome and Well-known and Attract Lots of Souls So We Don't Have To Keep Going Around Scaring Souls and Perform Soul Burial On them.'_

"_For this project, we will be making an, what human's call, advertisement," Nanao continued to say. "We will promote the advantages of being in Soul Society by showing the places around Soul Society to the Souls in the human world. Kuchiki-san can be the main part of this video since she has stayed there the longest. The 12__th__ division will be supplying us with the recording devices. Kuchiki-san, please include the following topics in the video…"_

_Two hours later, they were set to start recording. Rukia stood uneasily in front of the camera with a Chappy-themed microphone._

"_5…4…3…2…1…!" Yachiru counted down cheerfully._

* * *

"Ahem," Rukia coughed awkwardly. She tightened her grip on her microphone. "Soul Society is a wonderful place where you go in, what the humans call it, your afterlife. Here, it is very peaceful and there are no worries. Also, it is a place filled with many kind and helpful people who don't hesitate to help those in need-"

"What are you doing in my manor," a cold voice asked from the doorway.

The camera focuses on a black-haired man glaring at the woman in the room.

"Ah, Onii-sama," Rukia started to say.

"Out," Byakuya ordered.

"Ne ne~ Byaku-chan," Yachiru skipped to his side and pulled on his sleeve. "We're just gonna be here for a day or two. I'll give you candy?"

A pause. Then…

"Chire, Senbonzakura," he pulled his sword.

The room filled with shrieks as lethal petals swarmed into the room.

They rushed onto the street in a blink of an eye.

"Well, there are a minor few who aren't as keen to help," Rukia laughed dryly. "We are currently in a street in Seireitei, where the trusty, unbeatable Shinigami of the Gotei 13 live. It is a lively place, and a place where you will also live if you have spiritual powers."

The camera follows Rukia as she strolls down the busy street and comments on the various shops filled with people. All goes well with the recording. However, once they reached the Shinigami Academy…

"In here, there are many keen instructors who teach the basics of being a Shinigami to those who have spiritual abilities. Different types of Kidou and sword techniques are taught here. Let's say hello to the instructor who is on duty today…"

"Who's next," an eager voice asked as they entered a large dojo. A bald Shinigami wielding a spear was in the middle of the room, surrounded by groaning men and woman.

Rukia turned to face the camera, blocking the doorway with her body, "Let's go to another dojo."

"No, no, no, your stance is absolutely appalling," a strange man with feathers attached to one eyebrow stood in the middle of the room, fixing his hair while young shinigami students struggled to stand back up.

"Next," Rukia hastily slid the door closed.

"Um… there is a high chance you will be attacked from behind, so please improve on your defence skills," a gloomy, blonde-haired male told the unconscious students on the floor.

Rukia sighed, "Next."

"He who does not fear the sword he holds is not worthy of holding a sword," a lean man with scars running down his face and a '69' tattooed on his face instructed the room full of shacking, frightened shinigamis-to-be.

Rukia slid the door closed and said in resignation, "Let's go somewhere else."

They left Seireitei.

"Here is where those who do not have spiritual powers live when they die," Rukia gestured to the wooden houses and streets filled with lively children in Rukongai. "There are no worries here and families here will welcome your arrival."

"Oi, thief! Come back here you little rascal," someone in the background shouted.

A frantic child scrambled passed Rukia, nearly tripping her. An angry, fat shopkeeper soon appeared as well. "Come back!"

"Um… Law breakers are also not tolerated around here," Rukia said simply with a fake smile plastered on her face. "Please respect those around you and don't commit thievery."

An inhumane shriek erupted somewhere in the distance.

"The only real threat around here is hollows, they eat souls for a living," Rukia explained as they rushed to the scene. "Er… But you don't need to be afraid because Shinigami stand guard at all times, ready to respond if they attack. We do our best to not have any casualties."

"Mae, Sode no Shirayuki," Rukia pulled out her white sword.

With a few quick cuts from her sword the hollows were killed and turned to dust.

"Every Shinigami is very strong so you don't need to worry about getting eaten," Rukia smiled reassuringly while sheathing her sword.

"Who killed the hollows?" a gruff voice asked.

Kenpachi walked into the view of the camera whilst scanning the area. "Where's the hollow?"

"I just killed it, Zaraki-Taichou," Rukia replied.

"Oh," Kenpachi replied, disappointed. "Hey, I know you, you're that new lieutenant and that Kuchiki Byakuya's sister. How about you and I have a fight?" He pulled out his sword eagerly.

Rukia stepped back and sneaked a glance at Yachiru. "Help me," she mouthed.

Yachiru smiled brightly, "Go Kenny!"

Rukia paled, "Um, this isn't a good time…"

"Don't die too soon," Kenpachi said as he charged toward her.

Rukia squeaked and shunpo-ed for her life.

A pair of tiny hands grabbed the camera. A mischievous face filled the screen.

"Soul Society is a really, really fun place. So come here quick, ne?" Yachiru said with a wide smile. "And remember to bring me some candies!"

* * *

"_So… what do you think?" Rukia asked when the screen turned black. "Do you think this video will work?"_

"_Yeah it will work… my ass!" Ichigo chucked the camera back at her. "You're going to scare them all away." _

"_Really?" Rukia asked, disappointed."You sure?"_

"_20 juice boxes if souls go to Soul Society on their own!"_

_*Three days later*_

_Ichigo stared , wide-eyed, at the long, long, LONG queue of souls lining up to get into Soul Society, all chatting excitedly about it like they were in a line to a theme park._

"_20 juice boxes, please," Rukia asked him happily with her hand held out._

"_F*ck."_


End file.
